


Not the Worst Idea

by Nicnac



Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-27
Updated: 2012-04-27
Packaged: 2017-11-04 09:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicnac/pseuds/Nicnac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Druken Lex was a lot more cunning than anyone gave him credit for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not the Worst Idea

It wasn’t the worst idea Lex had ever had. Almost every single interaction he had ever had with Lana came to mind as direct proof of that. Though he wasn’t really certain his time spent with Lana counted, since he was at least ninety-seven percent sure that she had some weird meteor power to make people love her. Really it explained too much not to be true. Still, Lana aside, Lex was sure he had had worse ideas before. Even if he couldn’t think of any of them right now.

It had all started with Veronica. Lex had been married to his fifth wife for over four months and he was becoming reasonably certain that she wasn’t going to try to kill him. Unfortunately for Veronica, Lex never let his guard down anymore, and her attempts to lull him into a false sense of security were ultimately wasted. After the police came by to pick her up on Thursday evening, Lex had proceeded to get completely and blindingly drunk. He woke up on Sunday morning with absolutely no memory of the last two days, and was a bit impressed in spite of himself.

It was only now, two years later, that Lex had finally figured out what must have happened during that black-out phase. Drunken Lex was much more cunning than Sober Lex had ever given him credit for. Hell, if it weren’t for the utter stupidity that the meticulously ingenious plan was based off of, Lex might be tempted to come into work drunk more often. 

He had apparently, at some point late on that Thursday night, decided that he was never going to be able to have a happy functional marriage. Therefore, if Lex wanted any form of long term companionship, he would have to find a way to become friends with Clark again. Even sober, Lex could admit to the appeal of this idea. The problem was it just wasn’t feasible, and he had never tried to follow through on it. Lack of feasibility, however, was no deterrent when he was drunk. So he had then come up with what he had no doubt thought at the time was an absolutely brilliant plan. Said plan was then put in motion over the next two days and had only now come to fruition.

That wasn’t the genius part, though. What was amazing was that somehow, through his drunken state, Lex had realized that he wouldn’t much care for this plan once he had sobered up. To counter this, he had deliberately controlled his alcohol intake to make sure he stayed drunk until he got the project up and running and to make sure he completely blacked-out the whole affair afterwards. Not only that, but Lex had somehow buried the project so deep amid LexCorp’s other affairs, Lex had had no chance of finding it later unless he was looking for it. It somewhat disconcerted Lex to know that while he could out think just about everybody he had ever met, his drunker half had pulled one over on him.

And now Lex was stuck. There really wasn’t any way he could stop the plan now, not morally speaking anyways. And yes, Lex did have morals, thank you very much, even if he did play them faster and looser than most people. Lex sighed and decided that there really wasn’t anywhere to go but forward at this point.

Gently, Lex set down little baby KN-7, or Conner as Lex had taken to calling him, in his crib. Pulling out his cell phone, Lex sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the brand new nursery and dialed the phone number from memory.

“Clark, it’s Lex. I have something I need to talk to you about.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic of] Not the Worst Idea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165361) by [luvtheheaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvtheheaven/pseuds/luvtheheaven)




End file.
